First Impressions

I know everyone has heard of the expression, "First Impressions are everything". People put so much pressure on themselves when we think about first impressions. Society as a whole puts so much concentration on first impressions. How do you feel about them?

Lets think about it. When you go for a job interview, you wanna wear the perfect suit and tie match for guys and the ladies want to wear that dark power suit with the matching shoes. None of this includes the actual qualifications you have for the job your interviewing for. We want to make that first impression to the company we want to work for. It's the icing on top of your qualifications, personality, etc. Have you ever thought to yourself that companies might actually turn you down because they might not like that suit you are wearing or your outfit. If you dressed the part it shouldn't matter right? Are you to go that much into investigation to find out what your future boss likes as far as clothes, hairstyle, haircuts, etc. No because that's impossible. What about personality? Are you suppose to figure out if they are laid back, comedians, serious, etc? There is no way of knowing.

What about in the dating world? Guys want to have the fresh out the shop look for that first date and ladies want to look good as well. But is that really the first time you are meeting them? Unless it's online dating right? Think about it, some people meet the opposite sex while they are working at their jobs, working out at the gym or out at the market. There is no way you can be fresh to death sweating it up at the gym, working on a construction site, or rocking the sweat pants and sweatshirt at the market. How do you find that person attractive. Really that's the first time meeting them so what's the first impression? Is it the persons smile, do they have that certain look that draws you in? What about meeting your mates parents for the first time? That's important right? You are probably picking at your mate for tips for what they like, what they don't like and is my outfit appropriate. Really think about it.

The point I am trying to make is, how about being yourself? That's the best first impression you can give. Don't worry about what society will say. This is you, this is who you are. You are giving everyone an injustice if you are not being yourself. It's takes so much pressure off yourself and you are giving that person on the other side who you really are. Isn't that a great feeling? Try it and let me know how that works out. Not saying you should be a slob but be who you are.

First impressions, any thoughts, comments, ideas and concerns? Talk to me...

The List

Okay, I have to get this off my chest. One of my good friends and I were talking the other day and we were discussing relationships. My father told me a long time ago and he said "Son, don't even bother trying to figure females out because you can't and you won't. You have to pick and choose your battles wisely. I believe him because he and my mother have been married for 41 years strong. 

Anyway, on to the meat and potatoes of this. In this conversation that we were having the subject came up about "The List". Apparently, some females make a list of qualities and characteristics that they need to date someone. Now at first when I really thought about it, its not really that bad of an idea until I heard what goes on these list. I believe there is fantasy and reality and most of the things on this list were just not realistic.

I get that everyone has there standards and no one wants to compromise on them but can you really find true love based off a list? It seems like you would be dating the list and not the person. There are so many more intangibles that you cannot get off a list. Keep in mind that I am not speaking to all women and I am only going of the list that I saw. Speaking of that list, some of the things on there are as follows:
1) Has to be 6 foot and above
2) Has to have a master's degree
3) Has to make 60,000 or more in income
4) Can't have any kids
5) Has to have good hair
6) Has to have a certain skin complexion

There were other things on this list that were beyond reality as well. So as a female, if you met a nice guy that didn't have all the qualities on a list that you wouldn't date them? You would wipe out a whole group of men because they are not 6 feet tall? Again, not speaking to all females and only making references to the list that i saw. I just think that you are doing a injustice to yourself by only dating people that have the qualities of a list that most guys will not be able to achieve. Is the list fantasy or reality? Not saying that you should lower your standards but really take a look at the list and really think about if these things are achievable.

I just believe that the intangibles are so much more important that all those things you put on a list. What if the guy you met was really nice, had a good job, had a kid and was 5'9 and treated you like a queen, you would give him a shot? You can't really believe the man of your dreams will be put together by a list. How about growing to know someone by giving them a chance, you never know that man could be your husband one day as you realize that this man gives you everything you need and realize, this is the man I wanted in the first place.

Do you have a list? If so what's on it? Are there things that are available for compromise? Are the qualities achievable or fantasy? What is the reason for the list in the first place? Talk to me.

Beauty Without A Limit

Everytime you grace me with your presence I see beauty,
Is it your smile that can light up a room,
Is it your confidence that brightens up the sky,
Can it be your hair, the way it perfectly lays,
Can it be the way you dress, so sophisticated and sexy,
Is it the dreams that you have I know you will achieve,
Is it the way you can carry a conversation and not loose attention,
Can it be the tone in your voice, so soft and sweet
Can it be your big heart, so kind and giving
Everyday you wake up, you uphold beauty without a limit.

Things That I would like to do but have not gotten the chance to

I was reading Chasing Joy's post on 22 things that she would like to do but not have done yet while chasing joy. I thought this topic would be great for me to do so here it goes. Also, please check out Chasing Joy's blog @ http://www.chasing-joy.com/ . Amazing writer and very inspiring. Chase Joy with her. Here is my list: I am 33 and I have never:

1) Never been to Disney Land (want to see if its any different from Disney World)
2) Learned how to swim
3) Been to Miami
4) Been to Las Vegas
5) Cooked a five course meal
6) Never been Sking
7) Visited the Mid-West
8) Been to Hawaii
9) Been on a cruise
10) Saw a show on Broadway
11) Jet Skiing (need to learn how to swim first)
12) Ran a marathon
13) Been on a hot air baloon
14) Recorded a song
15) Driven across the country
16) Been to Ground Zero in New York
17) Successfully driven a stick shift
18) Been to a pumpkin patch or harvest as an adult
19) Been to Greece
20) Been to any of the Caribbean Islands
21) Scuba Diving  (again, need to learn how to swim)
22) Been to every single Major League Baseball field to see a game!

Can you guys come up with your own list?? let me know !!

Letter to Grandma, I miss you

I had a wonderful time with my niece yesterday. She is just a joy. While she was playing around with my mother, it reminded me of my grandma. She yelled grandma so many times yesterday that it made me think of my grandma that passes away this summer. I really miss her a lot. I miss the traditions that she instilled in us as a family. Seeing my niece interact with my mom, it think it brought a joy to my mom and more healing to her getting pass the passing of her mother.

Growing up for me, there was nothing better than spending time with my grandma. She would always spoil us as kids because she could and give us back to our parents. There was a time when my niece asked "Grandma, I want to sit on your lap" and she just climb on my mothers nap with this big smile on her face. My mother's face lit up as well and she just sat there asking questions and relaxing. I had to take a step back and think that when i was a kid, i did the same thing

Grandma, I am doing fine, I really miss you a lot. I miss your wisdom, your cooking, your guidance, your smiling face. I am sorry you did not get a chance to meet your latest great grand child (my niece). You would have loved her. I know you are looking down on her and us right now and just shining your light on us. Your grand children are doing fine and your children are still arguing but I know you know that. You are the glue to this family and I will not let those traditions die. I wish I had one of your homemade biscuits and plate of ox tails, rice and gravy, and string beans, and you famous punch that you use to keep on the washer in the cooler.

I know that in life that you would not always be here but I was not ready for you to go just yet. You didn't get a chance to meet my children that I have not had yet, meet my wife that I don't have yet. I just know that all the in laws to the family love you and you have showed them love from the minute you met them. Towards the end, I wish I spent more time with you. I know you lived in South Carolina and I lived in Philadelphia but I miss you. I miss the phone calls on Sundays when I called. You are an amazing woman and I am glad that you were in my life. You taught me so much and I will continue to keep those values. You will always be in my heart Grandma Sarah!

Your Loving Grandson,
Kevin Charles Jones

The Gift and Curse of Having A Master's Degree

I still remember to this day my graduation from grad school. I was so proud, felt so good, know I did the right thing. Did I? In this market that we are in, you would think employers would be banging down your door because you have a master's degree but is that really the case?

All throughout high school we were taught, you have to go to college, you have to learn more to succeed in this world we live in. We go to undergrad, take out student loans, do all the financial aid stuff and get your degree because society says this is the best way to get ahead. Once your out of school and land that entry level job, the job tells you if you work hard and go back to school and get your master's you will be able to move ahead even more. Okay so you go back, take out more loans, and get your master's. Now your thinking I am set, raise should be coming at work or other jobs would call and ask me to work for them. Your phone doesn't ring nor do you get that raise at work. What do you do then?

Everyone wants to live comfortable, get married, have kids, get a dog, and everything is all good. What happens when that doesn't happen? I know we are in a recession right now but the whole point of going to Grad school is suppose to separate you from the other competition that do not have one but there is always a catch.

Living in the city of Philadelphia, we have a lot of great schools in the area that offer master degrees in almost every field. Temple, Villanova, Penn, St. Joes, Drexel, etc shall I go on. I graduated from the University of Phoenix, Philadelphia Campus. I did not go online, I took all my classes in front of a professor. In theory, I am receiving the same education that the students are getting from the other schools but I believe the employers don't look at that. Names can bring you a long way and sometimes it is worth it to pay the extra money knowing it would look more attractive on your resume. There is so much competition out her for jobs that someone like myself with a master's degree will get passed over for some of the bigger named schools. is that fair? not really but do you blame employers for selecting people from those schools. Not really.

That's why i believe there is a gift to have one and a curse to have one. In my circle of friends and family, I am really the only male with a master's degree as i believe more woman are in school than men. All my close ones have good jobs whether they went to college or not but what about the people who do give up everything to make themselves better and once its done, there is still nothing out her for them.

Society makes us believe that they are telling us the right things that education is the way to go but there are a lot of fine lines in those statements. Is there anyone else out there that feels that having a master's degree in business is a gift and a curse? Let me know why employers will take someone with a lesser degree or not having a degree at all over someone with a master degree? I know school is not for everyone and that we all work hard no matter what we do. Tell me your thoughts.  

Who Am I

I am a 33 year old man that's working on becoming a better person everyday of my life. Am I a good person? I think so. Have I made mistakes in my past? Yes I have, who hasn't. Am I perfect? Far from it. Learning is all a part of life that we all go through as we grow.

I was raised in a two parent household along with my brother. My parents are still married and this year just celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary. My father was and still is a complete gentleman to my mother. That's where I received my romantic side, and received my generosity, kind heart, and personality from my mother. i wasn't a bad kid at all, never been suspended from school or got in trouble in school accept failing 9th grade English which I had a very hard teacher. Can you imagine bringing a report card that said all A's a couple of B's and one F? I was so ashamed. Going to summer school was an embarrassment for me because I knew I was a good student. Never went to summer school again after that year.

Went to college the non traditional way, freshman and sophomore year stayed on campus and jr. and senior year worked full time and went to school at night. I can tell you i really appreciated college more after these years because I knew how hard it was going to school and working. I honestly took school more serious and my grades were proof. I never took anything like that for granted again.

Graduation day from undergrad was amazing, having all my love ones there and when my name was called, i can hear my love ones cheering and it almost made me cry. Being as though I worked for the school, it was weird having the president handing me my degree and shaking my hand and i have been in his office talking to him about work stuff. Very funny feeling. To this day most expensive piece of paper I own. I gave my degree to my mother being as though graduation was around mothers day and that was my gift. Looking into my parents eyes right after the ceremony and seeing how proud they were of me is something I will never forget. It meant so much to me.

During these times I gained new friends and lost them as well including one of best friends deciding to end his life. I had a couple of relationships with females ending and starting a brand new one. To this day, the longest relationship I have ever had. Although that relationship ended, I learned so much from that experience and realized that we both made mistakes and I have grown from it. I decided to go to grad school and get my MBA in 2009. Hard work is an understatement on how difficult it was working full time and going to school in grad school. Totally different from undergrad. There were many times when I want to give up, saying that I was beat and I didn't have the energy to on. Thanks to my mom and dad and my new born niece was my motivation to keep going. I love to learn so that was motivation as well. I wanted to fulfill a promise made in high school to my father and grandmother that I would obtain a master's degree. As I sit back and realize the support system I had, It made me do even better. I can honestly say that I really didn't have a social life for two years but I think in the long run, it will pay off. Walking across that stage and being hooded after they called my name, I felt like cloud 9. Nothing could take that feeling away. I almost think I was addicted to it because I had the same feeling during my undergrad graduation. I gave my grad school degree to my father being as though I walked in June, it was his fathers day present. I really don't feel the need to have my degrees because I know i graduated. I always wanted to give them to my parents.

Growing up, my dad taught me how to play sports. We would play catch with the football, baseball and he taught me how to shoot a jumpshot in basketball. I knew I was going to be a sports junkie because I always wanted to do everything he did. I can remember since I was two, sitting next to my dad watching sports. Phillies winning the world series, eagles loosing to the raiders in the superbowl and the sixers winning the finals in 1983. Philadelphia sports is in my blood and is a huge part of me. Sunday's in the Jones residence during the fall, we glued to the tv watching the Eagles, no matter how bad they were during those time. Even my brother, although he is a 49ers fan. My brother was the weird one 49ers, lakers, yankees, were his teams. Shaking my head!

I am a man that loves romantic things, movies, writing poetry, learning new things, sports fanatic, loves to drive anywhere, and enjoys the beach. All of these things became a part of me while I was growing up. Do you know who you are?

Connection

I am connected with you like no other person that I have grown to know

You know me the best, better than the horizon knows the sunrise and sunset

One look from you and forever you will know how I feel

I never take a day for granted and as the wind blows, you still remain in my heart

I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Please decide to stay

Take my heart and place it inside yours because that’s where I want to be

Being with you, sleeping with you, walking with you, speaking with you.

Butterflies still are in my stomach within every site of you or the sound of your voice.

Touch Me

Touch me like you want me to be here, look at me like you want me to stay,

Hold me in your arms and send all your love this way

Feel my heartbeat as I want it to be connected with yours

I want to be on the same page as with you through thick and thin

Help me become a better man, help mold me to the man I am suppose to be

Touch my soul with your love; help me take my passion to the next level

Hold me down like two best friends since childhood

Protect my heart like you belong in the center of it

Lift me up when I am feeling down, take my breath away with the love you have inside

I am only human and we all make mistakes, please forgive me for what I have done

I am a better man because of you, please help me understand

I want to take ownership of that heart that beats through the veins of your body

Protect it with honor and never let it drift away

These are the reason I reach out and always want you to stay.

To Seal (Letter to my future wife)

To seal is to keep something inside safe and tight,
With you I want to seal your heart and hold you through the night.
With that, our souls unite and both of our hearts take flight.
The next level we go where many have been before,
The love is sweet and kind and it opens up the doors.
Feelings are shared like no one has ever known
My mind, body, and spirit has grown.
The words in this poem I seal with a kiss,
Every time you read this I hope you reminisce.
What could be with you and me,
The feelings are so strong the naked eye can't see
A feeling that is drawn unlike no other
A feeling deeper than one of a cousin, sister, or brother
Missing each other more even when we are in each others arms
We keep each other safe from fear and harm
My destiny awaits to open those gates
That deep burning inside, I always sallow my pride
Those feelings even you can't deny
Imagine these feeling being expressed on a breezy autumn day that will connect our souls on a level supreme to all
I will always be here whenever you call
A feeling that you can never stop giving yourself to each other
Passion, hurt, and tears but you still can't stop
Feelings you hold on to and will never drop
The point of no return as the fire in our heart burns
Slowly melting on each other as we live and learn
The give and the take, all the love we will make, hand and hand there will be no mistakes
I seal this poem with all of my undying love from me to you
Now tell me do you feel the same way I feel about you!

One Step At A Time

One step at a time to make and break all the dreams planned and fulfilled,
One step at a time to make and perfect your skills.
One step at a time to let your feelings explode at the right time and place,
One step at a time to grow with another.
One Step at a time to find our more than you ever wanted to know,
One step at a time to let your feelings show.
One step at a time to give and show your love to the one you adore,
One step at a time to love more, more, and more.
One step at a time to let everything fall into proper order

Guest Post on Chasing Joy

Hello everyone! I recently did a guest post on another bloggers page. It will be posted at 1:00 PM 10/7/2011. The blog page is www.chasing-joy.com. Chasing Joy is a amazing writer and person and one of the main reasons I started to blog. Please do the honor and read Chasing Joy's journey in chasing joy. Absolutely amazing!

The Little Things

Has a woman ever told you that "the little things are the things that counts" Did you ever think what she was talking about? Is this a hint? Do us as guys ever get it right? My dad told me a long time ago that its the truth, no need to research, just do it. What is this "it"? I know ever female is different and this woman's little things might not be what the other woman's little things are.

Opening the car doors so your lady can sit down, opening the door when she enters the building, pulling out the chair for your lady when she sits down to eat. Are these the little things or things we are suppose to do? These are the things I have done for the majority of my life in courting a significant other. What are the little things?

Sending a text that says I am thinking about you, how is your day going? Flowers on occasion and not just a special one? If you do all these things as the norm, than are the little things covered in this? Not saying that I am perfect because I am far from it. We have and will all make mistakes. This doing the little things continues to be a mystery for me.  As a guy when a woman tells you "the little things are the things that count" honestly ask yourself what does that mean. Take time to find out the woman you are dating, its worth it in the long run. Are you meeting her needs with the little things? Do you have a list of little things? Hows that going for you. Let me know.