I have been taking a free poetry class every Thursday night through the organization I work for. We offer free dance, music, vocal, and poetry classes to the community and as employees, I get to sit in on any class I like. Well, this weeks assignment in class we had to write about being the person we are instead of the person we are trying to be. Have you ever really thought about that? I would say more than half of us in this world are pretending to be something we are not.
Growing up, I had a moment that I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to dress the same, tell jokes, treat woman the same as my counter parts. It felt good for a moment to be fitting in with everyone and getting attention from the females but something within me just said that this isn't right. My gut feeling inside was telling me that something wasn't just right. The moment in live I will never forget was when I tried to talk to a female and I looked like a complete block boy. For those of us that don't what that is, white tee shirt jean shorts, and some timberland's. I proceeded to say come here shawty and she looked at my like I was crazy. She proceeded to tell me that this is not even you. You don't even have that swag. I am saying to myself, what is she talking about? I have seen guys do this all the time and walk away with the female. She continued to say, be who you are and stop pretending.
I use to think that if you treat females a certain way that they would show you attention. I was so mad when she turned me down but from that day on, it seemed like a huge light started to shine on me. I knew inside my heart that I was a perfect gentleman and that I should never address a female as shawty. Growing up in my household, my dad was a perfect gentleman to my mother and at first, that't they way I would treat females. Opening car doors, buying flowers for no occasion at all, and just being very supportive. When I acted like this, I never got the attention of girls because they thought I was soft and not a real man. Well the girl that turned me down to this day is still a good friend of mine and she told me long ago that my day will come. Girls just don't see what they are missing now but when they get older, they are going to get tired of dealing with the jerks and want to deal with a guy like me. Just wait and see.
I fought being who I was on they inside to get things that I wanted or that i felt society would accept me. I am a gentleman, romantic, hold doors open, buy flowers just because, preppy dressed guy and I am not afraid to say it or be it. One of the worse things you can do to yourself is be something you are not. Lets stop pretending who we think we are and start accepting who we really are. Don't be afraid to let your true colors shine through.
You are very wise. And I think your class sounds wonderful. It is hard to walk in your true path, but rewarding and gets easier the older you are. As for the girls, well, they get tired of players and grow up in their mid-twenties. There's hope. :)
ReplyDeleteHoping for Chasing Joy today.
-Nora
http://norabpeevy.blogspot.com/2011/11/dallas-arboretum-writing-inspiriation.html
Hey there Keazy!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post and I can relate to this in so many ways. Not the same way as you but I realize that we are an will not please everyone in life. I lived this way for such a long time and one day I said no more. I am human and I am pretending I am something that I am not.
Its sad to say that I feel that my mother wants me to be like her but to be totally honest I dont think my mother is living or has lived because she is always living under some type of standard that is not her at all. She has a tendency to try and place that life over me. I can't live like I am not living if that makes sense. I just want to be me, I want to have days where I am relaxing, not working, not cleaning, washing dishes, making sure that everything is just so perfect just to to be me the best me I can be!
So yes I agree no need in pretending to be something were not...I like you just the way YOU/WE are!
Keazy you are a very smart man. It seems for years I tring to be someone else, the person I thought I was suppose to be and who I thought other wanted me to be. But I was horribly miserable and as soon as I started being who I was and embracing that person I became a much happier person.
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