The year of 2012 is fast approaching us and every year I am pretty sure we make up New Year's Resolutions right? Do we stick to them? Some of us do, some of us don't. I think the beginning of the New Year is a time to reflect on the past year, the good, bad, and the ugly and also look towards the future.
How often do we reflect before we move forward? Every year I tell myself to let go of all these things to make room for the new things in my life that will come. I think to myself, am I really reflecting on the things I plan to let go and why am I letting these things go. Sometimes when that happens, those same things that you try to let go, creep back into your life because you never really knew the real reason you wanted to change. Sometime we just can't go by it just feeling right but he have to really know why we want to change these things.
I consider myself to be extremely generous and every year I tell myself that this needs to stop. Most of the people I am generous to don't deserve it but yet I continue to be that way. Puzzling right? I ask myself the same thing. Is this action in me that much of a part of me that I can't let up? I really don't know. I have been hurt so many times by giving so much of myself because that's all I know. I am a caring person and if I believe I can help someone I will. This does not just include financial things, but time, feelings, trust, support, and the list goes on. Not all of these people are bad but some people just don't know how to take generosity. People think its fake or I do these things just to gain something in return and that's the furthest thing from the truth. I give because I love to give. It brings me joy to help others in need and because I have been blessed with a huge heart, most people take it for granted or use it for bad.
When something is so much of a part of you, how do you let it go? I don't know how to do things half way. I go hard all the way or I do nothing. There is no in between for me. Where does that leave me? Questions I ask myself every single day. I get all the time these same reactions "Kevin, your too nice", "That's so sweet of you", "Thank you so much for this", "Are you doing this to get something back in return?", "Why are you doing this for me?", and sorry to say ladies it mainly comes for you. Why can't I just be a nice guy, want to do nice things for you to smile. I ask myself who are people associating themselves with that kindness is not in the equation? I look at my closest and best friends and one thing we all have in common are that we are all giving people. We are not perfect but we are generous in everything we do. I choose to have these people in my life because we have this in common. A man can still be a man by being generous, you just have to open your mind to the idea. And what I mean by generous, I mean not having everything at your feet because that's crazy but doing nice things to let you know we care.
With that being said, what would you do? Are there things in your life that you try to let go and they end up back in your life even though you thought you let it go? Are you paying attention to the company that you keep? Do they have similar feelings about the same things? What are you guys wanting to let go in the New Year and how do you plan on keeping it away? Let me know your thoughts.
Well I think the real question is is the generosity and being "so nice" working for you. Are you getting the experiences you want. If so than perhaps you don't need to let go or stop being generous at all. But if not then maybe you need to tweek things a little. Maybe spend a bit more time learnign about people before you be as generous as you normally are. One negative side effect of being really generous is that opportunist and selfish people will be drawn to you. But as long as you are aware that may help you determine who is deserving of your generosity. #commenthour
ReplyDeleteI have people who I have cut out of my life for different reasons. Even now, an opportunity to have someone re-enter is upon me and after careful consideration, just not worth the hassle. I don't need the drama. I also have other people in my life who I would bend over backwards & do anything for with no questions asked, why? because I care.
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies for you comments. It's hard not to be there for people when you honestly do care. Over the years I have cut people out of my life for those same reasons and that's the one sided relationships. In my close circle at this present time, i have people around me who would do anything for me without any questions. I do only have one gear and that's 100%. I don't know any other way to be. Hopefully I get better at recognizing peoples true motives earlier than later. People are really good at hiding themselves these days.
ReplyDeleteSome people are givers and some people are takers. There's nothing wrong with being a giver and being generous to people. What's wrong is when people realize your generous trait and try to take advantage of you. Once you realize this, you can really see people for who they really are.
ReplyDeleteKevin its Will, I just didn't feel like login into my accunt. STOP IT, we talked about this on the phone. Next time your about to do something a person who is a jerk stick your hand out and smack it.
ReplyDeleteHeya, Don't ever stop being nice!
ReplyDeleteThat said... I used to be an over-giver. I'm still a sucker/soft touch, whatever you want to call it, but I'm pretty sure I finally took the "welcome mat" off my back - haha!
It's embarrassing for me to look back and see how I naively let certain people take advantage of me. Borrowing money, for instance, then never paying it back even though they made 3x what I did. Silly stuff like that. Oh my. I have to laugh, but it still makes me cringe.
I am now married to someone who is an even bigger over-giver than me. I think we keep each other in check, somehow!
You've got me thinking, though, about how I managed to curb this - and, honestly, I am not sure. I had more than one wake-up call along the way.
Not sure if my comment is of any help. I'll get back if I can think of anything helpful - lol!
I'm belatedly visiting you from #commenthour.
Merry Christmas! And - stay nice! :)
~Tui