My Dad, My Hero

As I think about my life, I have been so blessed with many things. I am blessed to still be here. As I look around in society, we have so many issues and so many things that's wrong and that tends to be all we focus on. All the negative gets media attention. Media tells us that fathers are not around and not taking care of their responsibilities, leaving woman to raise children by themselves. What about the fathers that do take care of their responsibilities and be fathers to their children. We never hear about that and I find it to be very odd!

I look at my dad and sometimes I get overwhelmed on how much of a great father he is to brother and myself. My dad has taught me so many things in life that I will never forget. This man has taught me how to dribble a basketball, throw a football, hit a curve ball and play the position of second base. Taught me all the things I love to this day and sometime I wonder where would I be without him. My dad kept me away from the streets that in the inner city call your name at a very young age. By him teaching me sports, I never wanted to get involved in the streets because I was too busy playing a thousand and one sports lol! I remember my dad taking us out to Temple Stadium and if your from Philly you know now that is Enon to fly kites. I remember going back to school the next day saying how excited I was about it but know one else in my class knew what a kite was or even know what fling it means. I began to realize that my dad was different from most dad's but I loved it.

My dad has been right by my side at every big moment in my life. His father was not in his life and I know in the back of his mind he was not going to let that happen to us. As I started to get older, he started to teach me about what being a man is. Although we did not have many conversations about it, he let me know by example. He let me know by his actions, how he took care of his family. He demanded my brother and I to get good grades in school because that's all we had to do as kids, go to school, come home, do homework and duties around the house, eat and then go to bed. Schooling was the most important thing to him. He use to tell us to that you can always win fights with your brains and not your fists. Knowledge is power was one of his famous slogans.

I could go to my dad about anything and he would never turn me away. He always had time for me and my family. He made sure we went on summer vacations every year, sat at the dinner table as a family during dinner and made sure he knew what was going on in our lives. I can say that as I am an adult now, I really didn't realize how much of an impact he has had on my life. I talk in the same tone as him, drive like him, think rational like him, romantic like him, have dimples in the same place just like him. I can honestly look at my life and say that my father has always been my hero. In my eyes he could do no wrong even though no one is perfect. Every mistake he has made, he has owned up to it like a man.

In today's society, I am thankful that I has such a influential man in my life to help me through the rough times, show me how to treat women, how to handle a household and own up to your mistakes. As society continues to put down men and some of them do deserve it, I want to celebrate my dad, Charles Jones and everything he has done for me. Thank you Dad and I love you very much!

Love,
Kevin Charles Jones       

Love never ends

I have not written in my blog in such a long time! I have been a little down and have been concertinaing on finding an occupation and this process has been very difficult for me. After working 14 years straight with some type if job to not having one at all has been a humbling experience. Through out this whole process, my parents have been so supportive and continuing to allow me to stay with them until I get on my feet. That itself is a blessing!

Today while talking with my mother, she told me that my dad asked her out on a date tonight and she was just smiling from ear to ear. She was saying your father is being smooth and I was just laughing away. I then started to think, Wow, they are still living their lives as if they were still 20 years old. I think it is absolutely amazing that after 41 years of marriage, my dad is still being that person he was when I was growing up. Some couples just let there marriage just go with the flow and not still have the spice in it. My parents still go out on dates very often and continue to keep their marriage fresh and exciting. Sometimes I just sit back and say, if I get married, I am going to be the same way to my wife. There has never been a time that I have never saw them not show love to each other. I know they might not like each other from time to time but I know they are still deeply in love with each other. It shows in their actions and i am truly blessed to have seen a love like theirs when divorce is so common in today's society. Looking at my dad and mom I still do believe that good guys will get an amazing woman in their lives that will respect and cherish a true gentleman like my dad. I do believe that marriages are built to last when you find the right person. I do believe that marriage is a blessing and death do us part still does happen. I couldn't have been any prouder when my mom was telling me about her date tonight.

It is truly amazing to see older couples show love to each other. Holding hands, looking into each others eyes and you can see the love in their faces as they are glowing. I still see that in my parents and I have one of the most perfect examples on how true love never ends. Do you still believe in true love and that it never ends? Let me know your thoughts!

A Little Bit of My Family History Part I

As some of you may know, I was in South Carolina for Christmas with my extended family. I must say this was much needed in my life at the right time. I cannot express in words how wonderful it was to be around my family as I believe family is everything to me. I know we all have our ups and downs with them but I would not change anything in the world with mine. Being as though my grandmother just passed away in July, it was still on my heart. We went to her house to clean some stuff up and my mother wanted her cedar chest. I just walked around and got this warm but sad feeling over me. Later on that day we were all just sitting around talking and I started to ask questions about my great grand parents and my mother, aunt, and cousin knew a lot about them so I wanted to do more. I must say Google is an amazing thing and I cam across a website that my second cousin had out there. Come to find out, she had been doing research as well and then the information just started to come out. I got as far back as my great great grand parents. Wow! Good stuff! I will do more research to find out more but I wanted to share this with you all. This is on my mothers side. My fathers side is soon to come as I found out from my dad that my great great grandpa was white and my great great grandma was a native Indian. Check out this about my moms side. Sarah-Moultrie Graham is my grandma and I was am a part of that branch.

Zannie Graham and Phyllis Barr-Graham came from a section of Williamsburg County called Indiantown.  The history books and census books are scarce regarding Blacks.  We did find, however, that white masters with the names Grahamn, Barr, and Wilson were prominent in Indiantown and they gave their names to the slaves.  We believe that these slaves were our predecessors.

Zannie Graham was born February 11, 1891 in St Mark.  Little is known about the family of annie except that his father's name was Dairy Graham and he had two brothers, Samuel and Julius (Bubsy).  Zannie was raised by a white family.  Zannie's father was married twice.  His second wife's name was Bennie.

Phyllis Barr was born in 1892 in St Mark (according to a historian interviewed).  It was also noted that Grandma Phyllis was born the year of "The Big Shake" which was 1886.  Phyllis was the daughter of Tensil Bss and Ben Barr.  Ben Barr was born around the Civil War.  He was a farmer and owned 20 acres of land on which he grew rice and wheat, had a cane mill, and raised cows and hogs.  Tensil was his first wife and the mother of Phyllis.  Ben's second Wife was Elizabeth who became the mother of Ben's three youngest children, Mattie, Rosa and George.  Elizabeth was a farmer's wife and owned 40 acres of land.

Phyllis had 5 brothers:  Washington, George, Henry, William and Jacob Barr and 8 sisters: Mary (Honey) Wilson, Margaret Rogers, Lena Cooper, Fibby Barr, Tara Barr, Rosa (Plum) Burrows, Mattie (Flossie), Russia dnd Sally Barr.

Zannie and Phyllis were married November 18, 1913 at Trio, South Carolina.  Zannie was 21 years and 9 months old and Phyllis was 21 years old.  They both resided in Vox, SC.  They had a grand wedding with a horse drawn carriage and a big celebration after which they made their home in Hemingway, SC.

Over the years, they became the parents of 7 children, one of whom died in infancy.  There children were: Minnie Graham-Hawkins, Daniel Graham, James Graham, Sarah Graham-Moultrie, Zannie Graham, Jr., and Christine Graham-Coo[er.

Zannie departed this earth August 20, 1972 at the age of 81.  Phyllis joined him 14 years later on January 12, 1986 at the age of 95.

Have you ever researched where you family is from? What did you find out? Did it shock you? Where you proud? Let me know your thoughts.

Going Into The New Year

The year of 2012 is fast approaching us and every year I am pretty sure we make up New Year's Resolutions right? Do we stick to them? Some of us do, some of us don't. I think the beginning of the New Year is a time to reflect on the past year, the good, bad, and the ugly and also look towards the future.

How often do we reflect before we move forward? Every year I tell myself to let go of all these things to make room for the new things in my life that will come. I think to myself, am I really reflecting on the things I plan to let go and why am I letting these things go. Sometimes when that happens, those same things that you try to let go, creep back into your life because you never really knew the real reason you wanted to change. Sometime we just can't go by it just feeling right but he have to really know why we want to change these things.

I consider myself to be extremely generous and every year I tell myself that this needs to stop. Most of the people I am generous to don't deserve it but yet I continue to be that way. Puzzling right? I ask myself the same thing. Is this action in me that much of a part of me that I can't let up? I really don't know. I have been hurt so many times by giving so much of myself because that's all I know. I am a caring person and if I believe I can help someone I will. This does not just include financial things, but time, feelings, trust, support, and the list goes on. Not all of these people are bad but some people just don't know how to take generosity. People think its fake or I do these things just to gain something in return and that's the furthest thing from the truth. I give because I love to give. It brings me joy to help others in need and because I have been blessed with a huge heart, most people take it for granted or use it for bad.

When something is so much of a part of you, how do you let it go? I don't know how to do things half way. I go hard all the way or I do nothing. There is no in between for me. Where does that leave me? Questions I ask myself every single day. I get all the time these same reactions "Kevin, your too nice", "That's so sweet of you", "Thank you so much for this", "Are you doing this to get something back in return?", "Why are you doing this for me?", and sorry to say ladies it mainly comes for you. Why can't I just be a nice guy, want to do nice things for you to smile. I ask myself who are people associating themselves with that kindness is not in the equation? I look at my closest and best friends and one thing we all have in common are that we are all giving people. We are not perfect but we are generous in everything we do. I choose to have these people in my life because we have this in common. A man can still be a man by being generous, you just have to open your mind to the idea. And what I mean by generous, I mean not having everything at your feet because that's crazy but doing nice things to let you know we care.

With that being said, what would you do? Are there things in your life that you try to let go and they end up back in your life even though you thought you let it go? Are you paying attention to the company that you keep? Do they have similar feelings about the same things? What are you guys wanting to let go in the New Year and how do you plan on keeping it away? Let me know your thoughts. 

Counting Your Blessings

A couple a days ago I was invited to a friends place in Delaware. He has been trying to get me to come down and visit for the last month. I finally made the 40 minute drive to their Condo. Although I was just down their to chill out,  it meant more to me than I expected. I realized how blessed I am . I am really and truly blessed with so much that words cannot even express it. I think sometime when we are dealing with adversity, we forget what has been given to us.

As we were watching sports on TV we started talking about the situation we had just been through, how we are in the same boat with the economy and employment and just life in general. Although he is younger than I, he is very wise for his age. As we are talking , his daughter was running around playing and just as happy is she wanted to be. Watching him interact with her was a blessing to see as he is a wonderful father and she loves him to death. I started to play around with her as well and at first she was hesitant but I think she remembered me. She has to be one of the smartest 2 year old's I have ever met. She knows most of her colors and even knows some words when she sees them. Amazing. His other daughter had awoken from her nap and she let us know it by crying. We are all just hanging out having a good ole time while just talking about life. I just happened to zone out for a minute and just watched how my friends daughters interacted with my friend and all I kept saying to myself is that is truly a blessing. Although he is going through a difficult time, it doesn't stop him from being a father and a husband. Hours went by and his wife came home from work and the one daughter ran to the door yelling mommy, mommy. It was such a blessing to see her running to the door with the biggest smile on her face. Kids are so amazing as they let their feelings know all the time whether is happy or sad. Throughout this whole visit, my friend was so supportive telling me things are going to turnaround, have you done this, have you done that, what about this, what about that, let me get my laptop.

His wife decided to cook dinner and the soup that she made was amazing that I had seconds. Just talking with them and seeing how supportive they are to each other and to me. As stated before, we all just went through something but it doesn't stop them from being husband and wife and parents to their daughters. That alone is a blessing by itself. I thank them for the opportunity to spend time with them and the kids because it opened me up to think more about life.

Have you ever sat back and thought about the things you have in life? He you really realized how blessed you really are? Even through trials and tribulations do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes on my back, and people that love me. It could be a lot worse than it really is. Sometimes I loose sight of that but moments like I had a couple of days ago put me right back on track. I am thankful for everything I have and everything that will be provided to me in the future. As a man, sometimes pride gets in the way but I am thankful for everything. During hard times lets be thankful for the things we do have instead of the things we don't. There is always someone out there that has it worst than you. Lets be thankful.

Is Retail Taking Over The Thanksgiving Holiday?

Over the last couple of Thanksgiving Holidays I have notice a trend that has become overwhelming over the last couple of years. Why are retail stores open on Thanksgiving? There was a time when I was a kid that no stores were open on this holiday. The government has given us a day to give thanks for the blessings we have and spend time with family and friends. With that being said, why would anyone want to be open on the 4th Thursday of November every year? Don't the retail stores have families and friends that they would like to spend time with? I just think this being open on thanksgiving and opening up at midnight on black Friday is starting to get out of hand.

I work part time for a retail store and I had to work black Friday from midnight to 9 am.  Being as though I had to work overnight, I slept for the most part of the day so I would be awake for the midnight rush. I barely spent time with my family on the day we are suppose to give thanks. I woke up to eat and went back to sleep. Not having those normal traditions in my family like watching football all day with my father, going to church as a family and smelling the good cooking going on from the kitchen from my mother. I was robbed of those traditions for the first time in my life and I don't know how I felt about this.

I was never a black Friday type of guy and have only ventured out only once a couple of years back for a midnight sale at the outlets and I told myself I would never do it again. First, i was missing the Eagles game and the only reason I went was to take my former fiance up there. I left my house around 10 pm and had smooth sailing until I got 1 mile to the exit where I was suppose to get off at. I sat in traffic for 2 1/2 hours just to reach the exit off of 422. Then it took another 1 1/2 hours just to get to the entrance of the outlets. Then it was no parking whatsoever so I drove around for 2 1/2 hours trying to find parking. Finally parked and walked to the coach store to get a purse only to wait in line and hour just to get into the store. After in the store, picked the purse for my mother and her and waited in the checkout line for 2 hours. Meanwhile I am looking outside and it looks like the sun is about to come up. I got home at almost 7am and I saw my dad and he said you are just now getting home and laughed at me. Never again.

As I walked into work around 11:30pm there was a line around the corner with people waiting to get in. People had lawn chairs and coolers like they were out there all day. I am saying to myself, don't these people have families? Why are they out here camped out and not at home resting from all the fun stuff you did all day with your families? I know that these sales are really good and tempting but waiting in line all day is it really worth it? Does anybody remember when stores use to open at 6 am and not midnight? I think 6 am is good, why did they push it back to midnight? Before you know it, black Friday will be black Thursday and and Thanksgiving will not be a holiday anymore and just a shopping day.

Have we lost the value of family and friends on Thanksgiving? Are we just waiting till we can pack up the car and wait in line to get a sale? Is that the priority now? Don't get me wrong I think Black Friday is a wonderful idea and lots of companies profit so much on this day alone but what's the difference in 6 hours? Open up at 6 am instead of midnight. And the places that don't close at all why? Give those employees a chance to give thanks on the day they have been given to do that. How do you guys feel about it? Where you camping out in lines since 6pm on Thanksgiving? Did you cut your family and friend time short just to catch a sale? Let me know you thoughts. 

Moving Forward

Are the words "I will forgive you but not forget" sound familiar to you? What is the meaning of forgiveness- the attitude of someone who is willing to forgive other people. What is the meaning of forget- to be unable to think of or remember or to stop thinking or caring about. If that is the case, then why does this statement always be said? Something really to think about. Can you forgive without forgetting? Are you honestly forgiving if you don't forget about it?

I think this is a very interesting topic. We all go through trials and tribulations in life and us as society come across people and certain situations where we face these same questions. What should I do? This person hurt me and I can't forget it. I won't forget it. I want to make sure this never happens again. All things that are relevant when you come to a situation where decisions have to be made. Really, what do you do?

The past will continue to haunt your future by things that we will not let go of. How can you move forward without letting go of what happen in the past? Too many past situations hinder our progression in life because we allow it to. Moving forward means just that. The past is the past and you can no longer control that, your future, you can somewhat control with the decisions you make. Being hurt and disappointed is no walk in the park and somethings are very hard to get over. There is no time limit to how and when you can get over things but you are doing yourself an injustice by holding on to things that you can no longer control.

New Beginners try and look at moving forward as progress. I guess what I am trying to say is forgiving really letting go of the situation that hurt you or letting go of the emotions associated with what hurt you. If you still carry all those emotions that you felt when you were first hurt then have you honestly forgiven that person? Let me know your thoughts people.